Expectations, unfortunately, are the assumptions that society has dumped on us. Regardless of who you are as a person, as soon as you were put into this world, a list of expectations were bestowed onto you. In fact, these expectations could have been made even BEFORE you were born. A common example of this is parents fantasizing over what type of person their child will be. Although expectations can be positive, they could still be harmful. This is because if the person does not live up to what is expected of them then they will feel like a failure which can lead to their self esteem lowering.

In the story Girl by Jamaica Kincaid, Kincaid describes the different actions that she is expected to do on a daily basis. These activities range from how she should wash clothes to how she should greet people. While reading this text, the reader can grasp how stressful these expectations have made life for Kincaid since she is basically doing everything she is told to do. It is as if she does not have her own feel will. Although some of the actions she is supposed to do seem a bit extreme, they are very much real things that are expected of her. This is due to how her culture thinks that women should act a certain way and should be the ones who perform household duties such as setting the table and doing laundry.

It is bizarre to think about how that mindset that Kincaid describes in her story is one that still exists today. Since this upcoming generation is more open-minded, it can be hard for me to understand why people have these beliefs about others. However, when observing how I was raised and taking into account what I have heard other people such as adults and elders express, I know that people do believe in certain stereotypes and can take into account how damaging they could be. For example, I saw that one of my uncles posted on Facebook this photo that listed how a woman should care for their husbands and should essentially do all the household tasks. When reading this, I thought about how ridiculous the whole thing was and figured that my uncle posted it to criticize how that viewpoint is absurd. However, when I got to the caption, my uncle was explaining how he agrees with the photo and how it is a woman’s duty to do chores and take care of her children. This relates to how Kincaid is supposed to do her “womanly” duties like cleaning the house and cooking food. When I saw that he was defending the post it made me feel a bit disgusted and uncomfortable since it showed me what he expects of me simply because I am a woman. Rather than letting that belief of his affect how I viewed him as a person, I took into account that he grew up in a different time period and how society has somewhat changed since then.

I stated that society has “somewhat” changed since then because certain expectations such as men shouldn’t be feminine and shouldn’t show emotions and that women are weak and need a man to help them still exist today. However, people are starting acknowledge that these expectations are an issue and are taking action to defy these stereotypes. An example is the Always #LikeAGirl advertisement that came out in 2014. In this commercial, they address how the phrase “like a girl” has a negative connotation to it and how using it as an insult enforces the stereotype that women are weak which can be damaging. There has also been a wave of males who are starting to challenging toxic masculinity by doing things such as painting their nails and wearing makeup. Additionally, these issues have been addressed in the past as well. In the song Just a Girl by No Doubt, they address the stereotypes about women with the lyric “This world is forcing me to hold your hand cause I’m just a girl, little ol’ me. Well don’t let me out of your sight. Oh, I’m just a girl, all pretty and petite.” Another example is the artist Prince. Prince was an artist who would always challenge gender norms through elements such as fashion. In the music video for his song Kiss, Prince wears a cropped shirt and dances sensually.

Another approach towards breaking gender expectations has been female artists singing about more sexual themes in their songs. Although it is normal for guys to speak about sexual topics and engage in sexual acts, females are shamed for doing the same. An example of this issue is how there are derogatory names such as slut, whore, and skank that exclusively apply to women simply for engaging in these activities. Whereas men are often praised for hooking up with lots of people, women are put down if they do the same. Since more female artists are making songs more about this topic, it is normalizing the fact that females can engage in sexual activity. Artists such as Beyoncé, Rihanna, Britney Spears, and Ciara are examples of females who frequently sing about this topic. Another example would be the rapper Cupcakke who sings about very explicit material, who I will not link to because I don’t know if I can. She is often criticized for having vulgar lyrics; however, it is perfectly fine when male artists do the same. This whole topic also relates to how it is perfectly fine to sexualize women in music videos but when a female shows off her body in real life she is called a slut or whore. It has become the norm for females to wear very little in music videos especially in rap videos such as No Limit by G-Eazy. A video that breaks this expectation is How To Be A Heartbreaker by Marina where rather than Marina being barely clothed, the men are.

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Although I have only listed a few expectations, mainly about gender, there are still many others expectations that people have to deal with. An example would be the expectation that parents have for their child to succeed even though success is a concept that can be defined in many way. Expectations, regardless of whether they are positive or negative, can be extremely harmful to the individual they are put on. However, it is hard to not have expectations about people which is a reason why it will always be an issue. We expect teachers to teach, we expect our partners to love us, and we expect our parents to guide us; therefore, the concept will always stick around. The issue at hand is when expectations are pushed so heavily on a person that it starts to affect their mental health and well being. We should strive to not let our assumptions about someone based on their race, gender, religion, and sexuality dominate how we treat them or what we expect from them. By doing so, we can promote a safe space where people don’t feel inclined to fit a certain stereotype or feel bad if they don’t meet the expectations that people have for them.